My burden at 4am
I cant tell you his name but i can tell you he is a young Jamaican man of Afro-Caribbean stock who is what we call a Deportee. He made some serious mistakes in his youth and ended up in the drug trade and got incarcerated for a number of years. He lost himself in that prison. Found himself in deep Depression which became compounded by his Cannabis usage. The Ganja was to numb his pain. The reality is that he had lost himself long before prison. He had Charisma, the male beauty that Chic magazine wanted on their cover and the girls wanted in their bed. But even i could see the cracks at the foundation. The hidden pain at the foundation of his soul. I told him I saw his pain and he grimiest and look at me in shock because he had spent so much time cultivating a mask to make the onlooker see an illusion. but i saw the pain and it frightened him but afterwards the awareness that he was accepted somehow eased the pain. Now he faces himself. faces the pain of his childhood. learnt how to grieve, to cry to speaks truth to himself. He faces too the reality of a Nation not prepared for his return with a very unforgiving spirit. He knows all too much the shame of rejection. Such is the plight of the Deportee. A black Jamaican male with promise. Not so cocky now but needing the embrace of a new chance and the great comfort of hope.
This is what burdens my heart at four am in the morning. This is what leads me to pray, because in the end someone must care, because this is the future of the Nation. I recognize not all Deportees carry the gun or only want to destroy.
It is Easter monday today as i write, i think about the fact he has no job and no one willing to help him. I think about the thousand resume’s he has sent and the fact he has no money….. I think about the fear in peoples eyes when they hear his accent and turn away……Deprotee……but he has hope!….maybe tomorrow someone will see him…. as I see him and give him another Chance….. Have you given someone whom you feel does not deserve another chance the opportunity to try again? Walk good till next time
This is a continiuos life changing experience this young man is going through, learning to rely on himself and more importantly God and not others will give him hope. Not saying he shouldn’t rely on other to get help, but not make his only alternative to dig his way out, and to achieve satisfaction which may be derived from the smallest of blessings, which at times maybe invisible to him; how is he going to see it? He has to look for them and recognize them himself.
Unfortunately Honey Bear you can only show him the path and wait for him to walk it, and also we can’t save everyone…depressing to think about, but a fact of life….
Andre W said this on April 15, 2009 at 12:34 am |
I disagree with Andre W. on the dependence on others. Let us not forget that no man is an island, that as believers we are called to a higher purpose than those without hope in God. We must never leave the unloved, downtrodden, or those who have failed in gutter. What would Jesus do? I have been asking myself that question a lot these days as I have had to over extend myself in seeking more compassion, more love, more patience to deal with individuals I tire easily of. Lawd God kno seh mi nuh ave it! (translate). But he gives more grace! Yahweh be praised! So let us not get tired of doing what is right for those who have fallen. Honey Bear, I commend you and I am so glad that the Father has given you this heart big enough to carry these burdens. I have prayed for the deportee and will continue to.
Much love and peace.
Rinthie said this on April 15, 2009 at 2:08 am |
Very insightful blog because it rings truth to the familiar saying that everybody deserves a 2nd chance. The Deportee? Yes. The Unemployed? Yes. The sick? Yes. Labels are extremely powerful in that if you’re repeatedly given a negative tag, you begin to act like it because you believe that’s what’s expected of you YET here, you have a case of a young man who has realized it’s not too late to change for a brighter future. He doesn’t want to continue living up to what’s expected of the labeling he’s been given. He wants better out of Life than that and thusly, he needs to be given a second chance so he can re-enter and participate in society. We all sometimes need second chances and it sounds like this young man wants to make the most of it. Great blog good sir!
Mr. PJ said this on April 30, 2009 at 7:28 am |